A Day in the Life of
by Lionheart1
Summary: One day from the viewpoints of all the FF8 characters. This is just crazy, random humor so just read for a laugh. !!!Ch 1: Squall's Day!!!


Authors Note: Hey, there people! How be you all? This is my new story, which is going to be one day from different characters points of view. If you've read any of my comedy before you'll know what sort of crazy humour I write, if not be prepared! Mwahahaha! Anyway on with the story…

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns all the characters. I'm just using them to bring happiness to a few people, well that's my excuse anyway…

_A Day in the Life of…_

Chapter 1 – A Day in the Life of Squall 

Squall and Rinoa sat in Cid's office; they sat in two chairs next to each other waiting for Cid to arrive. They had been called up to see Cid earlier on but they had no idea what this was about. They heard the door click behind them and turned round to see Cid smiling at them, stood in his usual attire.

"Ah, I'm glad you two are here," Cid smiled again at them.

"What is this about?" Squall asked, rather impatiently. After all, he had interrupted Rinoa and Squalls one day off together.

Cid rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well…since you have done such a good job as a SeeD we've decided to offer you your own house in Balamb Town," Cid said. "We would like you to move out by the end of the week."

Rinoa glanced over at Squall. "You mean you're kicking us out of Garden?" Squall asked.

Cid rubbed the back of his neck again. "Yes…err…I mean no, not exactly. It's just that we've got a lot of new cadets joining Garden next week and we need more space for them to stay."

Squall frowned. "But what about the extension that's just been built?"

"Yes, you're right, they should go there but Xu saw a spider there yesterday, so we're going to fumigate it."

"That's a bit extreme for one spider," Rinoa stated. "Surely you could just kill it."

Cid let out a small chuckle. "That's what a lot of untrained people would probably do. But when I was brought up I was told to always remember this saying 'If you ever find a spider walking through the new extension then fumigate the place just to be certain'. Surely you must have heard that one before?"

Squall and Rinoa shook their heads, a blank expression on both faces.

"That's the youth today for you," Cid said, shaking his head.

"Are you sure that's the truth?" Squall asked again.

Cid turned away from them. "Fine, I'll tell you the truth…but they won't be happy you know."

"Who won't be happy?" Rinoa asked.

"The Garden Faculties," Cid whispered, as if they could hear him.

"But Cid we got rid of them all. None of them work here anymore."

Cid crept closer to them. "They're still here, you just can't see them anymore. They hide, they wait for me, they tell me what to do."

Rinoa and Squall shared another scared glance between them. "But Cid, can't you remember after we killed NORG they all left, saying they wouldn't work for a balding man who smelled of urine and cabbage?" Rinoa asked, trying to comfort him.

"That's what they want you to believe. They live in the hotdogs and only come out at night, then they come to my room and tell me what to do."

Rinoa let out a small laugh but quickly contained when she saw Cid staring at her. "I think if they lived in the hotdogs Zell would have eaten them by now."

Squall quickly hid the smile on his face as well, but decided to play along with Cid. "What did the Garden Faculties tell you to do?"

"They told me that I must make you two leave because the new cadets are coming and that you will corrupt them with your 'bedroom noises' and they told me to…" Cid's voice trailed off.

"What else did they tell you to do?" Rinoa asked.

"They told me…to wear women's lingerie," Cid said with his head in his hands now sobbing.

"Okay…" Squall and Rinoa said together, their faces showing pure terror as the visual image of Cid in lingerie crept into their minds.

Cid's face suddenly changed. "Anyway, here's the information on the house," Cid said, handing over some papers. "You should take a look today."

"Thanks. We should really get going now," Squall said a hint of fear remained in his voice.

They slowly backed out of the room; Squall was about to close the door when Cid called him back. "Yes?"

"Remember, Squall, they are everywhere. Don't trust the hotdogs."

Squall and Rinoa walked back to their dorm and sat looking at the details of the house.

"I can't believe they're going to kick us out," Rinoa complained. "We have to leave all our friends because Cid has gone crazy in his old age."

Squall looked at the papers in his hand. "You never know this might be good. We'll have more freedom and no one will interrupt us on our days off."

"Maybe we should take a look then," Rinoa said. "Shall we go this afternoon?"

"You can go but I have to mark these exams," Squall said shaking his head.

"Arg," Rinoa shouted throwing her hands in the air. "Maybe we do need to get away from Garden. Fine I'll go by myself, I'll see you tonight." Rinoa kissed Squall, then grabbed her jacket and left the dorm, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Squall sat in his room alone marking the stack of exam papers. He couldn't believe some of the answers that had been written. Man, things sure had gone down hill since Ultimecia had been defeated. How hard is it to understand that GFs do make you lose your memory? Squall shrugged his shoulders, maybe they were using too many GFs these days and that they conveniently made you forget that they make you lose your memory.

Squall finished marking one test and was about to grab the next from the pile when there was a knock at the door. Squall got up, glad that he had an excuse to stop. He pulled open the door to see a woman, about 40, stood in front of him. She had shoulder length brown hair and a pair of glasses rested on the end of her nose. "Hmm, not too shabby," she said looking at Squall and then into the room. She then pushed past Squall and walked into the room.

"Excuse me?" Squall asked her.

She ignored him and began to explore the room further, pulling open cupboards and looking at their contents. "Yes, I should be able to live here comfortably, although we'll have to get rid of some of your stuff. I hope you don't mind." She said smiling at Squall.

Squall stared at her, unsure of how to respond to this woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Vanessa Shyres. I saw Rinoa just as she was leaving and she told me you would be looking for someone new now. Cid seemed quite happy about it as well."

Squall stood in silence again. What the hell was going on? Rinoa was leaving and this woman seemed to think that she could just move in with him?

"I think I have to made a phone call," Squall said, rushing past Vanessa. He headed to the bedroom; closing the door he picked up the phone and dialled Rinoa's number.

"Hello?" a mans voice echoed down the phone line.

"You're not Rinoa," Squall blurted out, startled by this mans voice.

He seemed to find this funny and began to laugh. "No, I'm not."

"So who are you?" Squall asked.

"I'm Joel," the man said plainly. "And you must be Squall."

"H-How did you know that?" Squall asked, slightly unnerved by the number of strange incidents that were occurring today.

"Rinoa told me," the man said, his voice as plain as before.

"But where is Rinoa?"

"She had to go off for a while but I wouldn't worry about her. She'll be perfectly fine by herself, she's had to get used to it when you're not around. You know, it doesn't hurt to try and spend more time with her occasionally?"

"…Thanks for that advice," Squall said. He had no idea who he was talking to, yet he was being offered advice on his relationship with Rinoa. "So can I talk to Rinoa?"

"I already said, she's not here right now, but when she gets back I'll tell her to call you," Joel said, before Squall could say anymore he hung up.

Vanessa walked into the room, completely ignoring Squall, and started to explore the room. "Hmm…it's a bit plain, I think I should decorate it so it looks more colourful," she bounced on the bed testing it. "The beds alright though, I think this will get a bit of use, if you know what I mean." She winked at Squall.

Squall silently shuddered. What was going on today? Squall didn't think he could take much more.

Vanessa examined Squall. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"No," Squall snapped. "I'm getting kicked out of my home, my girlfriend has disappeared and some guy has her phone, and you…I don't even know what the hell you're doing here. You just appear out of nowhere and start trying to move in on me."

Vanessa looked at him strangely, but Squall began before she could speak again.

"And could you tell me why, in Hynes name, did Rinoa tell you I'd be looking for someone new. If she has left me for that guy, I would have thought Rinoa, out of all people, would have told me to my face." Squall said, his voice now with desperation. 

Vanessa shook her head. "I don't know what problems you're having with Rinoa at the moment, but please don't shout at me. I thought you'd be trying to get as many offers as you can at the moment."

"There you go again," Squall shouted. "What makes you think I would want an offer from you?"

"Well, Rinoa said that you had decided you wanted to move out of Garden as soon as possible," she said placing her hands on her hips. "As a new instructor here, I thought I would have a more courteous welcoming to Garden, especially from the Commander."

"What?" Squall asked quietly, as he everything began to make sense.

"…And since I'll be paying you so I can get the apartment earlier I thought you'd be happy to see me."

"I'm sorry," Squall said quietly. "I didn't realise who you are. Cid happened to miss the fact that he had already arranged for someone to move in this morning."

"Well, that's a start to an apology. Cid said I'd have to pay 2000 Gil to move in now, but I suppose because of your rude behaviour I'll be able to get a discount."

"How about 1500 Gil?" Squall asked.

"500 Gil," Vanessa stated.

"1000 Gil." Squall bargained.

"700 Gil."

"I'm not going less than 1000 Gil," Squall said, shaking his head.

"800 Gil, or Cid finds out how you treat new instructors."

"Fine. 800 Gil," Squall shook his head in defeat.

"Good. I'll go tell Cid we've organised a deal," she said smiling. "I'll see you soon."

Vanessa turned and walked from the dorm, leaving Squall alone with the exam papers. He sat down and began to mark again when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Squall," Rinoa's voice called down the line.

"Rinoa," Squall said, happy to hear her voice. "Did you see the house?"

"Yeah, it's nice but it needs a bit of work. I think we should move there."

"Rinoa, who was the man on your phone?" Squall asked.

"What man on my phone?" Rinoa asked.

"I rang you and there was some guy on the phone. Josh or Joel or something?"

"Oh, you mean Joel. I forgot my phone but he gave it back to me when he just saw me."

"Erm…am I missing something? Who's Joel?"

"Squall surely you must remember Joel. He's that man who we saw walking down the street when we was in Deling City, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, Joel," Squall lied. "Yeah, now I remember him."

"Good. Well I found out he's a relationship counsellor, and I've booked us in for next week."

_Oh great _"That's great Rinoa, I can't wait," Squall lied again.

"Really?" Rinoa asked surprised. "I did it because I was annoyed that you didn't come today. I wanted to get back at you but if you want to go I'll cancel, I'll just make you sleep on the couch for the next week instead."

"But Rin-"

"Sorry, I've got to go now. I'll see you when I get back to Garden," she said hanging up.

Squall shook his head as he put the phone down. He had enough of today, the exam papers were still piled up and now he had to sleep on the couch with the loose spring digging into his back for the night. Boy, life sure was great…could the day get any worse?

A knock sounded at the door. Squall got up and opened the door to see Cid stood in women's lingerie, sobbing saying "They made me do it."

'Yes, this day just got worse,' Squall said as he slammed the door in front of Cid and collapsed on to the couch.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Authors Note: Well, that's Chapter 1 done, next one will Rinoa's day. But beware I'm a slow updater, so while you're waiting you may as well review and…wait for the shameless plug…read my other story Crossing The Line. Yay, bet you never saw that one coming. That's all for now, so time to enjoy the sunshine…woo aren't I the lucky one. Bye!


End file.
